So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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