Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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