I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
