i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
