About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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