Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
