Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
