we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize