I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
