We named our party play list daddy issues
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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