It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
