mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wish you could order shots online.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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