yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
