I just made out with a guy for $7.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
