After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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