she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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