oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
