I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
