I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
