been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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