I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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