dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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