Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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