ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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