24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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