i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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