You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
