This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
