totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
