I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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