I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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