Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
