There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
