It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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