If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he was CRYING into my vagina
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
