I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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