all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
