smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
