Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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