I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i now understand why vodka
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
