Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
