god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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