I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Come share oat with me in your robe
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
