I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
