And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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