shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
