You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
