fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
