I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
