She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
