You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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