i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
