I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
