Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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