Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
