if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
