How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
