worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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