It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
