id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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