they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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