singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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