have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You are the jesus of drinking
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
